Am I a Christian?

To tell you the honest truth, I did not feel like writing or posting anything Sabbath morning. I felt miserable. It seemed like my walk with God was going nowhere. Information was scrolling through my head, but to no avail. I know all the doctrines, all the steps, fundamentals, etc. But do I know God? This was the question on my mind. Am I going to church, only to make an outward show? Or am I going to church because my best friend in all the world has asked my to visit him there? Do I study because it makes me feel pious, or because I see that I am lost and helpless without it? Before I go any farther, I think I have a confession to make. I have been guilty of chasing symptoms, instead of the root problem, in myself, but worst of all, in others. No, I'm not saying I think it's wrong to reprove sin. I don't think that happens enough. I'm just saying I think I have made that my focus. And friends, I think, no, I know, that's the wrong focus. All these symptoms will fall away, if we have a saving relationship with Christ. I want to let Him reprove me and others, through His word. As to my duty, I just hope to share Christ.

So, as the Sabbath progressed, I still felt wretched. Then came the sermon. You would be hard pressed to find a more to-the-point sermon. It was just what my heart needed. And then I sat and listened to a sermon from GYC, by Kameron Devasher with a friend. It was about “killing the fat king”. Maybe you have heard it? Well, ultimately, the fat king is Satan. And it's also my selfishness. Through it all, I am seeing that the reason for my struggles is me. Self. I still haven't gotten it, I still don't give my all to the battle. But praise God, I plan to change that. Through His strength. Yes, it will require sacrifice. It did for Christ too. But I have the same source of strength that Christ had while on this earth! And so do you. What I want to convey through this sort of testimony here, is that we need Christ. ALL of Him. And none of us. I want that. Do you? Let's pray for each other brothers and sisters. Earnestly. And let's join in the fight like we mean it. Because when Christ comes, I want to be able to say, “ I am a Christian!” “This is my God!”

This is my prayer.

Onward and upward,

-Schane